One of those miserable days...
Hey yaars!
I just knew today was going to be shite when my mom mentioned that my cousins were coming over. They're married (yes, it's allowed in my religion), and for years have been in a thorn in my side. The husband is a head of pallative care at a Scarborough hospital and when my pops was basically given no hope in the IC, he casually asked how long the docs should wait to cut the cord. That and his family (my dad's sister and co.), unceremoniously ditched us, giving me a pat on the back and a "the decision is up to you" slap to the face.
The wife, another first cousin from another of my pop's sisters, managed to get into my bad books quite soon after that. Obviously distraught, she accompanied me to U of T to speak to a guidance counsellor on options. When debriefing my mom on the meeting, her synopsis was that it would be best if i cut school and get a full-time job. Completely shocking my mom and me, it was almost a cutting of ties, an easy way of saying "we're family, but there's no way in hell we're supporting you."
Anyhow, they came, with your's truly being his silent self. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but my mood was very similar to my Freaky Friday experience at Gate 9 a few weeks back. If need be, I can be a recluse! They did their thing, dropping off belated birthday money (for the bro), and early money (for me). It's almost like a charitable donation the way they do it, but maybe that's me being overly emotional.
I think this is one of the reasons for my problems opening up in general. Though I'd like to think I'm an open guy when it comes to conversation, I am reserved in many regards. My experiences with having my family, along with most friends, ditch me in time of strife really hurt me, and I am always on the watch out when it comes to meeting people. It's why I get overly suspicious when I don't receive I phone call/email/text within a certain period of time. I yearn to make good friends, yet fear being abandoned when in need. I'd like to think I've made friends this year who I could count on, but once again that scepticism crawls into the psyche, rendering me guarded, as you've all seen!
That's enough sensitive babble for now, I'm sure the posse has either started to:
(a) gag
(b) cry
(c) go "awwwww"
(d) want to slap me
(e) all of the above
So I'll leave it at that. I must say this blog writing is quite the cathartic release for me these days!
I just knew today was going to be shite when my mom mentioned that my cousins were coming over. They're married (yes, it's allowed in my religion), and for years have been in a thorn in my side. The husband is a head of pallative care at a Scarborough hospital and when my pops was basically given no hope in the IC, he casually asked how long the docs should wait to cut the cord. That and his family (my dad's sister and co.), unceremoniously ditched us, giving me a pat on the back and a "the decision is up to you" slap to the face.
The wife, another first cousin from another of my pop's sisters, managed to get into my bad books quite soon after that. Obviously distraught, she accompanied me to U of T to speak to a guidance counsellor on options. When debriefing my mom on the meeting, her synopsis was that it would be best if i cut school and get a full-time job. Completely shocking my mom and me, it was almost a cutting of ties, an easy way of saying "we're family, but there's no way in hell we're supporting you."
Anyhow, they came, with your's truly being his silent self. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but my mood was very similar to my Freaky Friday experience at Gate 9 a few weeks back. If need be, I can be a recluse! They did their thing, dropping off belated birthday money (for the bro), and early money (for me). It's almost like a charitable donation the way they do it, but maybe that's me being overly emotional.
I think this is one of the reasons for my problems opening up in general. Though I'd like to think I'm an open guy when it comes to conversation, I am reserved in many regards. My experiences with having my family, along with most friends, ditch me in time of strife really hurt me, and I am always on the watch out when it comes to meeting people. It's why I get overly suspicious when I don't receive I phone call/email/text within a certain period of time. I yearn to make good friends, yet fear being abandoned when in need. I'd like to think I've made friends this year who I could count on, but once again that scepticism crawls into the psyche, rendering me guarded, as you've all seen!
That's enough sensitive babble for now, I'm sure the posse has either started to:
(a) gag
(b) cry
(c) go "awwwww"
(d) want to slap me
(e) all of the above
So I'll leave it at that. I must say this blog writing is quite the cathartic release for me these days!
posted by Naveed at
3:42 PM
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