Diamonds are Forever
Just posting to keep everyone in the loop on things. As always, it seems whenever there's something remotely "juicy" to report, EVERYONE'S reading the blog. It was SUPPOSE to be limited to about 8 people, yet somehow I have more than the octet of readers I expected. Which was fine, until the love turned into acrimony!
I find myself saying time and time again that I won't say anything that might be too juicy to write but usually end up doing so. What can I say, I like to entertain! Just keep in mind that I'm no imbecile and that I do have a decent IQ (above average to be precise)!
Nothing really to bellyache about, just some random observations I've been noting the last few days...
- Why is it that whenever I least expect/want to hear from someone, somehow they magically appear to surprise/irritate/annoy me
- I have a KILLER "brown" accent. Just try me!
- I still have an extremely difficult time casually talking with members of the opposite sex (unless I've known them for about 8 months at which point I'm SEMI-comfortable)
- I'm unusually patriotic for a nation (Pakistan) which I wasn't born in (even though that's where my roots and culturing come from!)
- Why someone would EVER want to deliver or receive a donkey punch, I don't know!
- Cherry colas at Jack Astor's RULE!
- Why are some people SO concerned about saving endangered animals, saving the rainforest, etc, yet have NO sympathy for the bum on the street who asks for spare change! At least the bum says thank you!
This might be construed as prejudiced, but I mean it in the most positive way....
Outside of sumo wrestlers, have you EVER seen an overweight person of Oriental origin? It's as if they've inherited the genes for amazing metabolism. And if that's the case, I can't even imagine how much those sumo wrestlers need to eat to get that big!
And the last one:
How can members of the opposite sex get away with murder by using the "female problems" defense? I want to just ONCE bunk off of work by saying I have some "male problems". Though I'm afraid that just might be construed as getting my privates caught in a zipper or something a la "There's something about Mary". I offer a chance for us blokes to start bringing out the whole "male problems" excuse - It should be brilliant!
I find myself saying time and time again that I won't say anything that might be too juicy to write but usually end up doing so. What can I say, I like to entertain! Just keep in mind that I'm no imbecile and that I do have a decent IQ (above average to be precise)!
Nothing really to bellyache about, just some random observations I've been noting the last few days...
- Why is it that whenever I least expect/want to hear from someone, somehow they magically appear to surprise/irritate/annoy me
- I have a KILLER "brown" accent. Just try me!
- I still have an extremely difficult time casually talking with members of the opposite sex (unless I've known them for about 8 months at which point I'm SEMI-comfortable)
- I'm unusually patriotic for a nation (Pakistan) which I wasn't born in (even though that's where my roots and culturing come from!)
- Why someone would EVER want to deliver or receive a donkey punch, I don't know!
- Cherry colas at Jack Astor's RULE!
- Why are some people SO concerned about saving endangered animals, saving the rainforest, etc, yet have NO sympathy for the bum on the street who asks for spare change! At least the bum says thank you!
This might be construed as prejudiced, but I mean it in the most positive way....
Outside of sumo wrestlers, have you EVER seen an overweight person of Oriental origin? It's as if they've inherited the genes for amazing metabolism. And if that's the case, I can't even imagine how much those sumo wrestlers need to eat to get that big!
And the last one:
How can members of the opposite sex get away with murder by using the "female problems" defense? I want to just ONCE bunk off of work by saying I have some "male problems". Though I'm afraid that just might be construed as getting my privates caught in a zipper or something a la "There's something about Mary". I offer a chance for us blokes to start bringing out the whole "male problems" excuse - It should be brilliant!
posted by Naveed at
2:09 AM
4 Comments:
"Why someone would EVER want to deliver or receive a donkey punch, I don't know!"
Cause teabagging is sooo 2004.
cg
PS. I think the parental rating on this website just went up
By
Anonymous, at 5:32 PM, March 29, 2006
Dude, let me offer you some free advice. You admit that you feel uncomfortable around the ladies. I'll bet that it's due in part to the fact that you're not sure what to say or not say. Here's where the free advice comes in. NEVER try to sell a Male Problem to a woman. NEVER! In fact, deny you ever even mentioned it in this blog. I'll admit that it's funny, but NEVER talk about this when ladies are around. You're just asking for a world of hurt.
By
Anonymous, at 6:18 PM, March 30, 2006
Whoa....when your uterus bleeds every month and you're in crazy amounts of pain for 5+ days because of it and your hormones go all insane.......then you may speak.
By
YYZ Girl, at 8:36 AM, March 31, 2006
just use diarehera (sp?) as an excuse, nobody ever wants to hear you talk about that...
BLT
By
Anonymous, at 3:01 PM, April 02, 2006
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