To Allah we Belong and to Him is Our return...

Inna Lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon

Hey yaars,

I knew today wasn't going to be an easy one to get through but I gave it my best. For lack of a better term, it's the 5-year anniversary of my father's passing. Though I still think about my Abu often, the past month has cut like a knife on quite a few occasions. Nothing hard enough to make me cry mind you, but subtle reminders that my guide, mentor, and best friend are no longer in this world. I tried my best to put on a brave face and went to work in best attempts to be my jovial self. Of course I managed to semi-dampen things by blurting today's signifigance out to two co-workers (hope I didn't bum you guys out). All in all I thought it was a good day though, as I left work with a smile on my face and good memories of my dad.

For some reason though, the second I entered my home I had this eerie feeling, as if there was sadness or something of that ilk in the home. I quickly dismissed it, thinking it was me and my doomsday complex at work. Until I found out from my mother and brother that my Uncle Naseer had just passed away from a heart attack at 3 a.m. earlier today. Now I know in East Indian culture, we like to throw around the "uncle" term for any elder male family friend/parent, but in this uncle's case, it really felt like an accurate description.

Uncle Naseer was one of the first people to see us in the hospital upon my dad's passing and was extremely helpful in the arrangments, to the point that he personally went to Scarborough General to allow the release of my dad's body for burial (in Islam we bury the dead as soon as possible to give them peace). I'll always remember the large bear hug he gave me that day, comforting me as if his own brother had died, and today I feel as if I've lost family too.

I always looked forward to going to him to do my taxes as he was our family accountant. It always kinda bothered my mother and I that he would never allow us to pay for his services, and this year my mother was intent on getting him a gift to make up for that as we planned on getting our taxes done next week.

All night I've been reminded of his thunderous laugh and glowing smile that could warm anyone's heart. He was the one uncle who managed to always stay in touch with my mother, ignoring the whole taboo of men talking to widowed women. It totally pains me to know that he never got the chance to see his daughter get married off, as I know that was one of the remaining things he wished to do.

In the end I guess I can be comforted in the fact that he's in a better place. My dad always loved to hang out with him and here's to hoping they're sharing a smoke or two up in the heavens.

P.S. The Arabic scripture at the beginning of the post is the prayer we say for those who have deceased in hopes of them ascending to heaven. It's literal translation is the same as the post's title : "To Allah we Belong and to Him is Our return"