Mausam

Hey yaars,

Thought I'd let you all know that I'm still living, enjoying the embarrassment of continually getting my ass handed to me in Madden by my brother (he cheats I tell ya!). It's been a good few days of seeing family and friends, with tonnes of gossip to throw around. Not that I'm one for gossip...

While I'm pretty sure I'll post before the new year, it only made sense for me to write out all the different things I've experienced, enjoyed, endured, and adulated in over the last 12 months. The year 2006 was full of personal growth, along with what I'm sure is my fair share of personal destabilization. Of the many things that have happened, here's what immediately comes to mind:

1 - The Jays pre-season ticket printing fun and chenanigans
What you can learn in the confines of gate 9 over 6-8 weeks is truly astounding. The humour, drama, happiness, sorrow, tediousness and fun were all packed into those weeks. If I ever write my memoirs (you never know), I'll be sure to look back on the blog for the memories!

2 - Educating myself about the opposite sex
With the help of my mother, relatives, co-workers and friends, I believe I've learned more about the ways of 'wo-man'. This year I've managed to hear lewd fantasies, win clitoral jewelry (damn dirty bingo!), and watch a particularly interesting performance. Oh, and of course with the good there was the horrendous parting of ways, craziness, and e-mail frenzy with a few of the ladies. And before any of you considers making a mom joke at this point (i.e. Cedric), remember that I have stories on y'all too!

3 - Chicago!
My first trip south of the border. An eventful time full of fun. And I'm sure I've talked ad nauseum about this so I'll stop right now. Oh yeah, Go Cubs!

4 - Detroit :0 !
My second trip to the U.S. of A. going to see the Jays play the Tigers was interesting to say the least. Especially when I got home to experience the "hair dryer treatment" from my mom (who had no idea of the trip).

5 - The NFL
Until this year, when money was on the line, my interest in the sport waned on and off. Of course now it's f'n sweet come Sunday afternoon (only one more month left!).

6 - Eid, Part One
If it wasn't bad enough that I bought my clothes at the absolute last minute (with great help from Jeff and Mel - thanks again!), the jam-packed drive to Mississauga, coupled with the "standing room only" crowd, and the horrible Chinese take-away almost had me think it was all for naught. Of course that's until the Eidee (Eid money) started rolling in. So much better than whatever fun the Gentiles have at Christmas! Oh yeah, and Part Two is this Sunday!

7 - Sharabi ( hindi/urdu for drunk )
Ok Ok, so I didn't get wasted, but damnit I'm slipping down that slippery slope. The fact that I even had to ask what a "buzz" feels like can't possibly be good for me! I still think I have some semblance of innocence left.

8 - Tea-Bag
THIS is what started the whole damn thing!


If only I knew what it meant BEFORE I opened this video at work. I can't even begin to harp on the litany of jokes my friends have started because of my naivety in not konwing what it meant. Now I do, along with a lexicon of smutty language (thanks dirty bingo!).

I'd continue, but I'm losing my train of thought at the moment. Off to reading another chapter of Wuthering Heights.

Going the Distance

Yes, I actually went and saw Rocky Baloba on it's opening night wednesday. Yes, I went in with enthusiasm after watching the trailers on the web. And yes, it IS a lot better than I anticipated.

(*Naveed subconsciously hears Bill Conti tracks in his head*)

Sly has always been decent in my books for whatever reason. Back in the 80s when there were a few different action stars, he always struck me as the coolest. Of course that could be because my 4 year old self thought it was wicked that the same guy could be heavyweight champion AND commando extrodinaire!

In any event, when in doubt, I found we reasonated towards watching Stallone flicks. Be it Rocky, Rambo, Demolition Man, Driven, Get Carter, Stop, or my Mom will shoot!, Cliffhanger, Judge Dredd, The Specalist, if Sly was in it, I was tempted to watch. You'd think at this point I might be related to him or something.

By now, I'm sure my nerdness has illicited a few laughs. Keeping this all in mind, I went in to the cinema with as impartial a view as I could have. And I was left pleasantly surprised at how the film didn't sway too far into the outrageous.

Even if you always hated the Rocky films and can't fathom another one, I'd still recommend checking this one out. Even the coldest of hearts would find themself cheering for the Italian Stallion in the end.

"Yo Adrian, I Did Ittttttt!"

Happy Festivus!

Hey yaars,

I know, it's been way too long in between posts. Two weeks is too much of a gap for my faithful readers to have to wait to hear from me. Never-the-less, here's a few rambles from your boy.

Obviously it goes without saying that Christmas is here, meaning every single plaza in this country is packed with people. I use to wonder why people would wait until the last minute to shop for gifts. Now I know - there are definitely deals to be had if you procrastinate. Of course, the frustration involved when driving to the mall, trying to find a parking spot, and waiting in line to get a product is still too much for me to bear.

Another integral part of the Christmas season are the Christmas parties thrown. Since I'm usually unemployed around Christmas-time, I've never attended one (unless you count having tea and biscuits with Pakistani 'uncles and aunties'). Until last week that is. Through the help of J-Fizzle and C-Dogg, I got the chance to attend the Jays bash, and good God it was something to behold. It was at the Liberty Grand, which meant I had to finally get my first real jacket to wear. I felt like a penguin the whole time! Mind you, it was worth it for the mile long buffet line of food (and dessert!). Oh, and of course the rum and coke :P

I'd write more, but I'm being nagged to go to 'Karachi Bazaar' so that my mom can get another 4 tapes of the Pakistani drama serial she's been watching. Oh what joy!

L8er

Ball Till You Fall

Hey yaars,

Yes ladies and gentlemen, the picture to your right is me, in the first grade. I managed to use my digital camera to take a photo of this old photo, and it turned out alright. Over the coming few days I'll amuse/disgust you all with some of my older photos. And after uploading this one to my blog, I do realize why parents always wanted to squeeze my cheeks when I was a kid!

I just remembered an old first grade story of mine after seeing the picture. First grade was my public school introduction to team sports, where students were assembled into "teams" named after famous Canadians. In my school they consisted of Brock, Wolf, Macdonald, and my team Champlain. Anyhow, in our first ever game (of soccer), I managed to break the deadlock by taking the ball and breaking away to score the game winning goal. Of course, it was for the other team. Which meant we lost and I faced the shame of hearing all my teammates yell at me. Yes, I cried and had my teacher console me, whilst scolding the class for being mean. I think I'll switch topics before I regress back to my grade 1 memories!

As you all are laughing at my embarrassment, here are the odds and ends of the moment which are clattering around in my head :

- The Liberals surprsingly elected Mr. Dion as their new leader. I'm sure my friend Rob is all over this, probably finding a way to decipher how this can lead to another Conservative win. As many politically inclined, I was taken aback by the selection, though it could be a blessing in disguise. It seems that throughout his political career, Stephane Dion is almost always underestimated. Heck, he even was so in the leadership election. In my opinion though, this is like the Liberals going all-in with only a pair of 4s. It's totally a big risk, but as the expression goes, "big risk, big reward".

- Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif had their suspensions overturned by an appelate committee yesterday. While it is true that they had nandrolone in their system, the appeals tribunal felt that the original committee based their decision on WADA's rulebook, not the Pakistan Cricket Board's. Since the test was done out of competition and by the board, they felt it was within their jurisdiction. And since the PCB was found negligent in properly informing players of the dangers of supplements, the fast bowler's were exonerated.

What does this mean? I can once again look forward to March's World Cup. Pakistan Zindabad!

- I'm listening to the fan 590 and it seems the Jays have lost Ted Lilly and signed Matt Stairs as a 4th outfielder. I didn't expect Lilly to stay, I'm just a bit curious as to why we signed ANOTHER outfielder when we have a bunch of young prospects who can play the outfield. Who knows, this probably is another one of those moves that will work out for the better of the team

- Just got word from my moms that the "party" this saturday I'm dreading is expecting to have a total of 60 people attending! And in true fashion, Chinese Hakka food is the cuisine. As a friend once use to say "kill me now, and spare the pain!" :P

- U2 with Green Day - The Saints are Coming = The reason I want the Saints to wallop the Cowboys on Sunday

Tuesday Morning Quarterback...

Hey yaars,

A few random observations to keep you all amused:

- Yesterday after looking at myself in the mirror I had one of those weird out of body experiences. It was as if I was looking at myself, but not. I don't know how to eloquently put it, but let's just say it felt weird (no, I was on no narcotics of any kind).

- We were 9-7 this week in the football point spread pool, just enough to finish SECOND for the weekly prize. My upsets finally panned out (JAX, CLE, TEN), whilst J-Roc came through with the inspired upset pick of the ATL. It may be co-incidental, but as I write this, my WinAmp is playing Pearl Jam - "Ooooooho I'm still alive!"

- Mohammad Yousuf shattered the Test cricket record for most runs in a calendar year, eclipsing Viv Richard's 30 year old record by 68 runs. I say it's all in the beard. He hasn't shaved all year and looks almost like a brown Santa Claus. I would try to go for one myself, yet won't for fear of arousing some sort of terror suspicion (and I don't want any birds hiding in there either).

- Derek, you definitely need to cease and desist with the facial hair you have! (I'd post a pic, but don't want it to somehow be translated as slander. Believe me, it's happened before).

- I'm scared I'm falling headfirst into the "Christmas experience". Not only have I gone shopping on the first busy weekend of the season, I've also indulged in "Christmas in a Cup", while also enjoying a Yule Tide Peppermint Blizzard at Dairy Queen. Save me from this Gentile celebration :P

- Finished "Cat's Cradle" and found it to be very interesting. It's profound statements on war, politics, religion, and life in general were amusing while thoughtful. As I said before, it's made me into a Bokononist

- Currently reading Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment . It started very very slowly, but is turning into a psychological masterpiece. Sadly, I find a bit of Raskolnikov in me :(

- I'm scared again. As I've chronicled in the past, I'm heading out to a family friend's place this weekend for a birthday party. Which is fine, except the gathering has 13 to 15 full FAMILIES invited!!! This would be fine if it was at a banquet hall, but it's at your run-of-the-mill home in Markham!!! If anybody is free Saturday and wants to help a poor soul, holla at your boy!

That's all I got for now. For any of my faithful readers, if you have a spare moment or two for your boy, gimme a shout! I don't want to miss the chance to meet up with y'all to convey my happy holidays greetings.

L8er

Signs of the Apocalypse

- Yours truly beating my brother at Madden, 44-10 (I didn't belive it either, until he demanded a rematch and I got thumped 21-3 next game)

- Fifteen degree weather at the tail end of NOVEMBER!

- Being in 11th out of 17 in a hockey pool which contains people who didn't even draft their team.

- A Conservative PM softening on Quebec independence issues (*Naveed silently shaking fist*)

- A 'up-and-coming' Leafs club still in a viable playoff spot

- Watching a man at McDonald's ask for a refund, on a small cup of COFFEE which he already had refilled! ("This new cup is too watered down")

- Santa oogling the ladies working at La Senza

Any more suggestions?